Why Am I Jealous of Cows?

It was hot here yesterday. Miserably hot. While the thermometer only measured in the lower 90s, the humidity gave us a heat index of 112F. Just walking out to the garage and back into the house made you sweat. Even the dogs didn’t want to go out or go for their favorite r-i-d-e. Today, the temps are supposed to reach the high nineties with the humidity, so we will have another heat alert in effect.

In spite of everything that needs to be done, Mike and I took a slow day in the air conditioning, he venturing out only to feed the cattle, accept a new shipment, and pick a bushel of cucumbers and a handful of tomatoes to go with the zucchini and summer squash for dinner. Of course, he also forced the lazy dogs to take a trip or two out the door instead of holding it…dogs doing the ‘pee-pee dance’ are really not attractive, ya know?

Photo courtesy: http://www.wtfmetro.com/2009_12_01_archive.html

So I have been feeling out of sorts lately and thought it was the building heat. I have been lethargic, fatigued, and maybe a little cranky. Last night, I think I found out why. I have the stomach flu. I don’t know if it is going around, who gave it to me, or if they want it back, but I spent part of the evening wretching in the bathroom. Mike, bless his heart, was also forced to take his relief out in the heat, since with only one occupied bathroom, he too might have been forced to dance.

I think he got his revenge, though. As I returned to the couch from hurling, I heard him climbing the stairs for bed while calling behind him, “Sorry you’re not feeling good. Call me if you need anything.” Naw, I didn’t need anything…I could die now alone just fine!

I am a real wimp when I’m sick. I want sympathy. I want nurturing. I want someone to dote on me. So it struck me that going off to bed wasn’t exactly fitting the bill. I mean, a cool wet washcloth on the back of my neck would have been a welcome sign of caring, right? or a glass of ice water? or a diamond necklace or something? Suddenly, I felt jealous of the cows.

When we’ve had sick cows, Mike has made special trips to check on them, extra trips to town to buy medicine and supplies, even spent time watching them, worrying about them, stroking their necks. Waaaaahhhh! Why not me?! I fell asleep on the couch in a fetal position, holding my gut, and jealous of cows. Yeah, that’s emotionally stable!

Photo courtesy: http://voiceofmousetunes.blogspot.com/

If I could have I would have sucked my thumb and tugged my earlobe for attention, although I doubt he would have noticed on the stairs, in the dark, his back to the living room. For a moment, I wanted my mommy!

It’s not that Mike didn’t care– at least I hope not– but with the heat, he is starting his days earlier, so he needs his beauty sleep. Short of cleaning up any inopportune messes, what could he do, roll out a red carpet or put up running lights to the toilet?  I would just have to suffer alone.

 I can’t help thinking, however, that he thought I was just being a slacker.

 So now it is 4 a.m. I slept and woke up drenched from sweat, even with sleeping in the air conditioning. My stomach is still cramping and every sip I take gurgles in my stomach and sends another wave of nausea. I’m thinking it is not so much fun to be sick–and especially not fun to run a fever on an extremely hot day. Company will be here in less than a week. I haven’t really begun my canning and pickling foray for the year, and that MA thesis is still staring me in the face.So like any experienced procrastinator, I’m going back to bed. Maybe I’ll feel up to doing something when it’s daylight.

I still feel like a good old-fashioned “Waaaaahhhhh!” is in order, but I might wake Mike who is upstairs sleeping like a baby. Darn him! I wonder if he is dreaming of cows.

About cattlebaroness

I am a graduate of the University of Kentucky with a BA in History, nearing completion of a Master of Arts in American history. Born and raised first on military bases around the world, then in Orange County, CA, I moved to Kentucky when my children were small. I now live on a small family farm and am learning about farm life, planting and our newest addition to the landscape--cattle. Until a month or two ago, all I knew about 'cows' were that they came in brown, black and white and that some are raised for milk and others for meat. I am a quick study out of necessity.
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4 Responses to Why Am I Jealous of Cows?

  1. Jim says:

    Hope you feel better soon. I’m always suspicious of stomach flu as possibly being food poisoning of some description, but I’m not a doc of course. Thanks for writing about it, if it helped alleviate the pain.

    • Thank you, Jim. I haven’t eaten anything out of the ordinary. Last night’s dinner was a grilled burger, tomato salad, and raw, sliced zucchini and yellow squash. Lunch was a freshly made tuna salad. Even going back a day or two, nothing suspicious. I wrote about it because I am trying to write every two days now. I always write what is on my mind and, incoherent as some posts may be, they are off the top of my head. I’ll be fine. Hope you are doing well.

  2. Dodie says:

    Moooo great story! I’ve felt that way also about my sweethearts man cave (the garage) being Jealous of a cow, garage, motorcycle etc just shows that we woman also want to be mothered when we feel sick. Ok maybe not only when we’re sick, but we want all the attention the cows, garage, etc get or have gotten, because lets face it… We are Jealous of anything that takes our sweethearts attention and time away from us. 🙂 ha ha Moooooooo
    Hope you start feeling much better soon. try cola it helps soothe that tummy.

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